speeding

Dear Tree,

I know I haven't written in a while. I appreciate your continued efforts to get my attention. I know my attention is pretty rad. I know. But these juvenile pranks, they get old.

If you want us to be something again, dinner and flowers are a better start. Maybe a movie. But a good one. A date at the beach, that wouldn't really be amiss either. I have standards. The thing is, I just don't think we can recapture what we used to have.

I think the spark is dead. You need to move on. Find someone new. Get on with your life.

Love and kisses,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. One Evil Overlord seeking roommate: must like junk food, late night movies, and Guitar Hero. Inquire within. Don't ask about the rockets.

Things you can do in Vegas without getting arrested:

-Get exceedingly smashed despite being a minor
-Cheat like anything
-Enter strip joints without getting carded
-Light shit on fire
-Steal stuff

Things you can't do in Vegas without getting arrested:

-Jaywalk

Pro tip to the wise, the authorities are really sensitive about jaywalking.

So. The More You Know.

This PSA has been brought to you by G.I. Joe your Evil Overlord.