speeding

Dear Tree,

Normally I would be bitching at you for your antics, precocious and unwanted as they have been. But you stuck me in an elevator with two babes and a talking cat, I can't actually complain about the babes part.

You get a pass.

This time.

-Love,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. Hey Cross, you rented my room out yet? Sold my stuff? 'Cause if so I'm bumming the couch.

Dear Fishbowl,

No. I am not on a boat. Nor does the dude look like a lady. And, in fact, I'm already king, so there's no need to work on my roar, right?

I understand you must be bored and lonely, without me to write to you every day, but making wax statues of me is creepy and stalkerish. Just so you know.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

Love and all that,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. Seriously. Creepy.

P.P.S. Cross, we're out of socks. Again.

Shopping list of things to take back home:

-Toaster
-Microwave (many)
-Blender
-Coffee maker
-Coffee (lots)
-Soda (many lots)
-Assorted appliances and cookware
-Hi-res flat screen (get help carrying)
-DVD player
-All the DVDs ever
-Check for game consoles, XBOX at least
-Gaaames

Note to self, try to get multiples of the appliances and stuff. In case of Dr. Boom.

PSA: Zombies are still in the tree.