speeding: (Ummm // I think I skipped class that day)
Dear Fishbowl,

As you forgot my birthday last year, I have decided to provide you with a handy list of ways you can make it up to me;


All I Want For Christmas Dashmas is:
-Stop fucking with us
-A new XBox
-A flame retardant couch
-Barring that, a respawning couch
-Socks
-A pony

As always, I'm glad we had this little chat.

Love,

Your Evil Overlord
speeding: (Hey pizza what's up?)
Adventurer report: being official and crap.

Wilderness has changed once again. It looks like pretty much food for miles.

You know, boss, I suck at this forms in triplicate crap. I'm just gonna call it--food people. Lots and lots of food.

Dibs on the pizza!

Cross, you totally have to get down to the Wilderness like, five minutes ago.

IMPORTANT UPDATE. THEY HAVE TACOS.
speeding: (Make way! Coming through!)
[The post is in Cross and Dash's handwriting, with a lot of squiggled lines, ink dots and scribbles. The handwriting is messy on both their parts.]

Hey guys [Squiggly line]

[Little circle.]
We lost our other pen. Please bear with us for a moment.

Dude, seriously trying to make a point I know but as I was saying has anyone seen Bastet? She wasn't

Hey I was writing that! She didn't show for shift today, so if anyone has seen her could you

And you'll ramble around before getting to the point! tell us. We really Ramble? I'll ramble your head! We're seriously worried because she never ditches. So if

If we 'rumble', you'll lose. you see her, please check on Like you stand a chance. her. And maybe like drop us a note or something? And some pens, because this guy

Who pinned who in the remote war? That's right, not you. We'd appreciate it! Oh like you're any

[Squiggly liiiines!] Sincerely and all that, E.O. and Cross (seriously though, we're worried) gotta be fa

Thanks again! Get ready to los

((OOC: Change in hand-writing is being represented by colors for ease of reading Dash and Cross. Edit: As of this parts of the main post are very lightly struck through.))
speeding: (Aww man // I'm in trouble)
So. Um. Apparently I have an evil twin some kind of mental disorder?

Or really selective amnesia?

Also to the lady who threw stuff at me in the market I'm very sorry for whatever I did! I'm sure I didn't mean it/it was just a harmless prank/it was all a misunderstanding/invaders from mars did it.

Underline all that apply.

But I seriously can't remember.

What did I do?

Anyone else? If I did something crazy was it funny/did anyone take pictures/chalk it up to evil overlordliness?
speeding: (Hell. NO.)
[Scrawled very sloppily and in great haste.]

Cross section 3 now [The 'now' is underlined violently and circled twice.]



[Added in a bit later. Still sloppy but not as much.]


There's a big snake in section 3 that just ate two people, I'm tracking it, I'd like back up. People if you're up in section 3 stay indoors unless you can fight monster snakes, I don't think it's hungry any more but let's not fucking find out, shall we?
speeding: (Ummm // I think I skipped class that day)
Man I had the weirdest dream last night. I was being chased by a giant pizza, and Arrow was riding it going "Ándale! Ándale!" while there were like thirty dancing Mugen's eating cheesepuffs. And then it got weird.

My subconscious aside, yo and welcome n00bs. Name's Dash, I'll be serving as your Evil Overlord during your stay in our lovely arboreal prison. Feel free to direct all complaints to other people, and all tribute to me.

Carry on, peons.
speeding: (Yeah baby // how cool I think I am)
Dear Tree,

Normally I would be bitching at you for your antics, precocious and unwanted as they have been. But you stuck me in an elevator with two babes and a talking cat, I can't actually complain about the babes part.

You get a pass.

This time.

-Love,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. Hey Cross, you rented my room out yet? Sold my stuff? 'Cause if so I'm bumming the couch.
speeding: (Side glance)
Seriously did I enter the twilight zone? Because I only understand about one word in ten you freaks are using.

Don't make me crack open a can of moonspeak on yo butts.

Pity da foo'.

[Added a little later]

Seriously, can anyone write normally? Like, anyone? Code, please tell me you can translate some of this gobbledy gook.

And don't tell me here if you're going to take ten pages to answer "yes" or "no".
speeding: (Moar magic hands)
B+? I really, really hope that was your evil twin that tried to kill me. Cause otherwise I have no clue what I did to piss you off. I am so lucky I'm fast or I would be dead meat. What the hell is with strong little girls?!

Um. In other news. Scythe wielding maniacs are now part of the sphere? This is just getting out of hand, people.

I'd go hide under the coach... But. Um.

Sky?

I blew up the coach. No, I didn't touch your stuff. I don't know how I did it. It was sort of totally awesome though.

[A short time later]


It would be pretty wicked if I had an evil twin actually, come to think of it. I mean, other then Want.

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