speeding: (Yeah huh // so much better than YOU)
Dear Fishbowl,

Apparently it's war now. Well trust me, I intend to bring it.

Love and Kisses,

Your Evil Overlord


P.S. Cross is a fatty.

P.P.S. Hi guys. What's up?

P.P.P.S. So apparently I accidentally all our stuff, house, savings, you know. Anyone interested in the Evil Overlord Charity Fund? It involves you, me and a cup of coffee, to start with.
speeding: (Not in my voca---)
Dear Tree,

I know I haven't written in a while. I appreciate your continued efforts to get my attention. I know my attention is pretty rad. I know. But these juvenile pranks, they get old.

If you want us to be something again, dinner and flowers are a better start. Maybe a movie. But a good one. A date at the beach, that wouldn't really be amiss either. I have standards. The thing is, I just don't think we can recapture what we used to have.

I think the spark is dead. You need to move on. Find someone new. Get on with your life.

Love and kisses,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. One Evil Overlord seeking roommate: must like junk food, late night movies, and Guitar Hero. Inquire within. Don't ask about the rockets.
speeding: (Fast talking)
Dear Sphere,

Y'know, fuck it. No letter from me. You've been a very bad tree.

Who wants to go live it up in Hollywood? It's nearly as awesome as Vegas.

Plus a chance to renew my game supply. Someone rigged my 360. I swear it's the only reason he beats me at Mario Kart. I need a clean system.

Cheater.
speeding: (Dash smash!)
Dear Invaders,

This is my tree, and those are my minions henchmen civilians you are attempting to eat. Also, that's my stuff. In short, you are not welcome.

GTFO, DIAF, and all that.

So it is written, so let it be,

Loves and kisses,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. My pillow fort is the bomb.
speeding: (Ummm // I think I skipped class that day)
Shopping list of things to take back home:

-Toaster
-Microwave (many)
-Blender
-Coffee maker
-Coffee (lots)
-Soda (many lots)
-Assorted appliances and cookware
-Hi-res flat screen (get help carrying)
-DVD player
-All the DVDs ever
-Check for game consoles, XBOX at least
-Gaaames

Note to self, try to get multiples of the appliances and stuff. In case of Dr. Boom.

PSA: Zombies are still in the tree.

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speeding

September 2020

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