speeding: (Make way! Coming through!)
[The post is in Cross and Dash's handwriting, with a lot of squiggled lines, ink dots and scribbles. The handwriting is messy on both their parts.]

Hey guys [Squiggly line]

[Little circle.]
We lost our other pen. Please bear with us for a moment.

Dude, seriously trying to make a point I know but as I was saying has anyone seen Bastet? She wasn't

Hey I was writing that! She didn't show for shift today, so if anyone has seen her could you

And you'll ramble around before getting to the point! tell us. We really Ramble? I'll ramble your head! We're seriously worried because she never ditches. So if

If we 'rumble', you'll lose. you see her, please check on Like you stand a chance. her. And maybe like drop us a note or something? And some pens, because this guy

Who pinned who in the remote war? That's right, not you. We'd appreciate it! Oh like you're any

[Squiggly liiiines!] Sincerely and all that, E.O. and Cross (seriously though, we're worried) gotta be fa

Thanks again! Get ready to los

((OOC: Change in hand-writing is being represented by colors for ease of reading Dash and Cross. Edit: As of this parts of the main post are very lightly struck through.))
speeding: (I don't care // nyahh)
Dear Fishbowl,

No. I am not on a boat. Nor does the dude look like a lady. And, in fact, I'm already king, so there's no need to work on my roar, right?

I understand you must be bored and lonely, without me to write to you every day, but making wax statues of me is creepy and stalkerish. Just so you know.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

Love and all that,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. Seriously. Creepy.

P.P.S. Cross, we're out of socks. Again.
speeding: (This makes my brain hurt)
Dear Sphere -

If you should see a cheetah, please do not freak out. I assure you he is very friendly and will tolerate being petted. Though he could do without cutesy nicknames.

He also has a huge fondness for quiche.

He does not so much like screaming, pointing, things being flung at him, or being kicked at.

This PSA brought to you by G.I. Joe

Your Evil Overlord.
speeding: (Yeah huh // so much better than YOU)
Things you can do in Vegas without getting arrested:

-Get exceedingly smashed despite being a minor
-Cheat like anything
-Enter strip joints without getting carded
-Light shit on fire
-Steal stuff

Things you can't do in Vegas without getting arrested:

-Jaywalk

Pro tip to the wise, the authorities are really sensitive about jaywalking.

So. The More You Know.

This PSA has been brought to you by G.I. Joe your Evil Overlord.

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