speeding

Dear Fishbowl,

As you forgot my birthday last year, I have decided to provide you with a handy list of ways you can make it up to me;


All I Want For Christmas Dashmas is:
-Stop fucking with us
-A new XBox
-A flame retardant couch
-Barring that, a respawning couch
-Socks
-A pony

As always, I'm glad we had this little chat.

Love,

Your Evil Overlord

Dear Tree,

Normally I would be bitching at you for your antics, precocious and unwanted as they have been. But you stuck me in an elevator with two babes and a talking cat, I can't actually complain about the babes part.

You get a pass.

This time.

-Love,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. Hey Cross, you rented my room out yet? Sold my stuff? 'Cause if so I'm bumming the couch.