Dear Fishbowl,

Apparently it's war now. Well trust me, I intend to bring it.

Love and Kisses,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. Cross is a fatty.

P.P.S. Hi guys. What's up?

P.P.P.S. So apparently I accidentally all our stuff, house, savings, you know. Anyone interested in the Evil Overlord Charity Fund? It involves you, me and a cup of coffee, to start with.

Dear Fishbowl,

No. I am not on a boat. Nor does the dude look like a lady. And, in fact, I'm already king, so there's no need to work on my roar, right?

I understand you must be bored and lonely, without me to write to you every day, but making wax statues of me is creepy and stalkerish. Just so you know.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

Love and all that,

Your Evil Overlord

P.S. Seriously. Creepy.

P.P.S. Cross, we're out of socks. Again.