Fifth Rerun - Been a long time gone old Constantinople

[speeding]

Dear Fishbowl,

As you forgot my birthday last year, I have decided to provide you with a handy list of ways you can make it up to me;


All I Want For Christmas Dashmas is:
-Stop fucking with us
-A new XBox
-A flame retardant couch
-Barring that, a respawning couch
-Socks
-A pony

As always, I'm glad we had this little chat.

Love,

Your Evil Overlord

Comments

[redrobinhood.livejournal.com]

Dear EO,

- Sphere says no.
- It's your fault for missing the Mall of America. Suffer.
- If it's not your couch it'll be Cross' your bed.
- What are you doing? They will destroy us all!
- Fine, get your ass over to Bastet's and I'll buy you some myself.
- You won't get one till you learn to make your bed, Princess.

Yours in Pain,

Ghost

[speeding]

Dear Uppity Minion,

-Sphere's a bitch.
-Not my fault, the Tree's, it should make it up to me.
-Keep your fantasies to yourself dude.
-But at least I'll have a couch.
-Cool.
-But moooom.

Love,

Evil Overlord

[crownofsnow.livejournal.com]

Dear Ghost,

- stop that joke.

[seeya-next-life.livejournal.com]

A fireproof, respawning couch? I'm not sure I want to know what's going on in your living room.

[speeding]

It's not always my fault!

[grab-my-bells.livejournal.com]

Well, if you didn't get a pony at the unicorn event, that's not the fishbowl's fault.

[speeding]

Hey, every time the Fishbowl fails to give me singing and/or zombie cardboard unicorns I'm a happier man.

[spandexisyouth]

I do not know if I want to ask what you are doing to your couch.

[speeding]

It's not my fault!

[silver-antlers.livejournal.com]

What the heck is an 'XBox'?

[speeding]

It's a gaming system. You hook it up to a TV and play games with it.

[extantlaw.livejournal.com]

As far as hints go, Dash, that's not the most subtle.

[speeding]

What can I say J-dawg? I've always wanted a pony.

[flenceburgsbest.livejournal.com]

That pony can be arranged.

[speeding]

Elzee, do I even want to know?

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Why would you want a pony? They're big, they smell, and they'd defecate on your floor.

[speeding]

It's kind of a joke. Like, parents get their kids toys or kittens or puppies but asking for a pony means you're either a spoiled rich brat who can afford it, or you're dreaming and deluding yourself.

[crownofsnow.livejournal.com]

- I got the couch insured.
-If you blew it up I'm going to hurt you.
- Got those too.
- What?

[speeding]

- So wait we get endless couches anyway?
- So why can't I blow it up?
- Haven't you ever wanted a pony?

[brushismightier.livejournal.com]

What the heck is Dashmas? Some kind of festival? What kind of evil overlord wants a pony anyway?

[speeding]

It is an awesome festival that I just made up where we celebrate the true meaning of being totally kickass but mostly we celebrate me. For I am most kickass of them all.

[redhead-rabbit.livejournal.com]

Somehow I doubt you'll get the couch.

[speeding]

A guy can dream, right?

[pimpcoatbankai.livejournal.com]

Do I want to know what Dashmas is?

[speeding]

It is the best made up holiday ever.