Fifth Rerun - Been a long time gone old Constantinople

[speeding]

Dear Fishbowl,

As you forgot my birthday last year, I have decided to provide you with a handy list of ways you can make it up to me;


All I Want For Christmas Dashmas is:
-Stop fucking with us
-A new XBox
-A flame retardant couch
-Barring that, a respawning couch
-Socks
-A pony

As always, I'm glad we had this little chat.

Love,

Your Evil Overlord

Comments

[speeding]

Well yeah that's what makes cops cops. That and police brutality.

[spandexisyouth]

I am not brutal. And I especially would not be brutal to someone that I like!

[seeya-next-life.livejournal.com]

Well, I think I've got a date with a memory crystal tomorrow, but providing I'm not too horrifically disfigured afterward, I'm sure I could pencil you in.

Ah, that explains the asskicking. [lols go here] What are roommates for, am I right?

[speeding]

What so you might be a bit brutal to someone you didn't?

[spandexisyouth]

I said that I was not brutal!

[speeding]

Oh man, good luck. If you're up to it, sometime in the evening I guess? Give you time to recover.

Exactly! Someone's got to keep his donut-munching flab-abs from getting out of hand.

[speeding]

Yeah yeah, that's what they all say copper.

[spandexisyouth]

I am not metal.

[speeding]

Cop, copper. You know?

[spandexisyouth]

I see! I did not know!

[silver-antlers.livejournal.com]

What the heck is an 'XBox'?

[speeding]

There's worse nicknames.

[speeding]

It's a gaming system. You hook it up to a TV and play games with it.

[extantlaw.livejournal.com]

As far as hints go, Dash, that's not the most subtle.

[speeding]

What can I say J-dawg? I've always wanted a pony.

[extantlaw.livejournal.com]

Perhaops you could adopt one from the racetrack, if you're so keen.

[speeding]

Not the same.

[flenceburgsbest.livejournal.com]

That pony can be arranged.

[speeding]

Elzee, do I even want to know?

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

Why would you want a pony? They're big, they smell, and they'd defecate on your floor.

[flenceburgsbest.livejournal.com]

Well, you wished for an equestrian, did you not? I've become quite skilled at making the impossible possible.

[speeding]

What are you, a fairy godmother?

[speeding]

It's kind of a joke. Like, parents get their kids toys or kittens or puppies but asking for a pony means you're either a spoiled rich brat who can afford it, or you're dreaming and deluding yourself.

She's not impressed with equines after the unicorn uncidents

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

But they're livestock. Why would a child even want a pony?

At least hers didn't sing. And weren't zombies.

[speeding]

Because. It's what little girls want. A pony to ride. And while we're on stereotypes I think little boys are supposed to want rockets or something.