Twenty-Sixth Run - And I thought I spoke moonspeak

[speeding]

Seriously did I enter the twilight zone? Because I only understand about one word in ten you freaks are using.

Don't make me crack open a can of moonspeak on yo butts.

Pity da foo'.

[Added a little later]

Seriously, can anyone write normally? Like, anyone? Code, please tell me you can translate some of this gobbledy gook.

And don't tell me here if you're going to take ten pages to answer "yes" or "no".

Comments

[treeleopardess]

Faith, child, such churlishness! Such animosity, such virulence, such rancor visited upon mine eyes!

My heart flutters, my bosom heaves with distress. My anguish knows no bound, sinking in my sorrow to depths previously unknown. Alas. ALAS.

ALAS.

[speeding]

[The words "churlishness", "animosity", "virulence" and "rancor" are all circled. The phrase "my bosom heaves" is underlined twice.]

I'm not actually sure what you just said to me, but it was pretty hot.

You get a pass. Or is that a lass?

[treeleopardess]

Oh? Is that the pearly light of mirth breaking into the tumultuous night of your discord? Your very pen seems to sing with joy.

I will welcome either pass or lass with all gratitude, and will apply my skills and vigor to taking advantage of whatever fate sees fit to send me.

[speeding]

[Tumultuous is circled and "apply my skills with vigor" is underlined.]

Can I watch?

[blue-shields.livejournal.com]

I haven't been affected by it. I've just been avoiding trying to hold (written) conversations with people all day because of it.

[speeding]

I do. Not. Blame you.

[grinninggrifter.livejournal.com]

Indeed, sir, you are not the only one remaining unafflicted by the curse of verbose-ity and lengthy of speech pen of... ink black and paper cream. I too, am not writing in this most strange of texts, as this is how I normally talk. Now, let us delight in others' Shakespearean plights what with the heaving of breasts and what ho. O! Alas! Splendid! Burgundy! Jabots and cravats and velvet laced with frills!

And we shall also partake in tea. Pip pip cheerio, and all that. And crumpets. Crumpets for all!

I shall be wearing my monocle in the back.

[speeding]

["heaving of breasts" is underlined.]

I at least agree with you on one point. And you totally sound like British Argent a guy I knew there with the crumpets and pip pip thing.

[grinninggrifter.livejournal.com]

I tried my best, but I'm afraid I can't keep it up for much longer, and I'm not sure how others are managing. Speaking of which, I've never tasted crumpets, but that's besides the point. Who'd I remind you of?

["heaving of breasts" has now been heavily circled, thank you, with a hastily drawn thumbs up beside it. The thumbs up could have been something a bit more crude, but it appears he thought better of it.]

[speeding]

Well you sort of got it, I don't think I understood you much. I don't think I've ever had crumpets either, honestly. And thank god for that.

[A happy face appears next to the thmbs up.]

Guy called Argent.

[grinninggrifter.livejournal.com]

If you didn't understand me, then it's obvious I wasn't doing too badly. And I'm to understand that crumpets are some sort of bread, and I'm not sure how the rich could go wrong with something like that. I suppose you've simply got to have faith, though.

Argent, huh? I've never heard the name, so I'm guessing he's among the ranks of the mysterious disappearances?

[speeding]

I'm not a moron but I'm not some language nerd either. It's not that I don't know big words, I think I'm just allergic to that many of them all strung together at once.

I dunno, gimme pizza any day bro.

Got it in one.

[grinninggrifter.livejournal.com]

If I applied myself, I'd be able to do some speedy translations, but I'm not particularly keen on decoding a page describing toast. Before you say I'm joking, I'll tell you that I'm not; it was really about toast. I'll let you know now that you aren't missing anything.

I prefer burgers, if you're talking fast, greasy food.

That seems to be the answer to nearly every mystery here. It'd be enough to make a guy wonder. That is, if said man wasn't allergic to being speared by tree branches.

Bad memories =(

[speeding]

Toast, seriously?

Burgers are good, all American, but my artery clogger of choice is pizza.

... Yeah. Well, sometimes you don't do a damn thing and the tree gets you anyway.

[codenamewiccan]

I could translate but I'd need to spork out my eyes afterward.

[speeding]

Ph c'mon, Wonder Geek, it can't be that bad.

[esp-optimism.livejournal.com]

I wish I could claim it was I who was unaffected! I can hardly understand my own words, much less those who correspond with me. It makes communication infinitely harder.

[speeding]

I feel you--I think.

[snowburned.livejournal.com]

I haven't felt a compulsion to write like a flowery idiot, so count me among the unaffected.

[speeding]

Thank my lucky stars and garters--that's one more for the count.

[ice_echani]

It is either very disconcerting or very irritating. But I have not been affected either.

[speeding]

We should form an anti-prose brigade. Start talking netspeak.

lol and shit.